Jokes to remember

1--I got this elephant for you--only $50!
2--What do I need an elephant for? I gotta one room apartment1
1--Because we're old friends I'll cut the price. $25!
2--You must be mad! I need an elephant like a hole in the head!
1--OK, two elepphants for $25.
2--NOW you're talking.

***

Minister is giving a long-winded sermon; guy leaves, comes back near the end.
Later the minister says to him, how come you left during my sermon?
Guy says, I needed a haircut.
Says the minister, why didn't you get a haircut before I began my sermon?
Guy says, I didn't need one then.
***

Dentist says to his plumber. I charge $150 an hour--you charge $300!
Plumber says, when I was a dentist, I charged only $150 an hour, too.