Monday, March 23, 2009

Letter Re Israel

Letter to the Editor of the Woodstock Times


Regarding the recent spate of anti-Israel letters in this newspaper: It's absurd to claim that all anti-Israel people are really Jew-haters.
Only 99.73% are.

I mean, if you think that Israel has a right to exist, you can understand why its government felt obliged to attack a place that has hurled thousands of rockets into its civilian areas. If there have been relatively few civilian deaths in Israel as a result of those rockets, it's because Israel has been careful to protect its citizens. And let's not forget that Arab terrorists have exploded numerous bombs in Israel -- in buses, pizza parlors, even at a religious gathering at a hotel –- killing hundreds of civilians.

Besides, the inhabitants of Gaza voted for Hamas, a terrorist organization that wants to wipe Israel off the map.

Was Israel's response disproportionate? Apparently it wasn't enough. Hamas is still firing rockets!

So, why are certain letter-writers such Jew-haters?

1. As children, they learned that the Jews killed Jesus. Actually, Lenny Bruce, the social commentator, killed Jesus. "I was drunk at the time," he confessed. "I'm sorry and I won't do it again." Seriously, anti-Semitism is ingrained in people throughout the
world -- thanks to the “they-killed-Jesus” slur. (I myself happen to be anti-English – for the very good reason that they burned Joan of Arc at the stake.)

2. Jews tend to be guilty of financial crimes. An old study reached that conclusion. The same study found that Catholics tend to be guilty of crimes of violence and Protestants guilty of sex crimes. Personally, I prefer to be cheated by an occasional Jew to being mugged by a Catholic or sexually attacked by a Protestant. Anyway, Jews are disproportionately involved in finance because many countries in the past refused to let them enter other occupations, like farming.

3. Most important, Jew-haters are life's losers. They are successful neither in love nor in their careers nor in their friendships. They're lonely and bitter. And they have (they believe) so much talent! So, who's responsible? Those %!#*&&! Jews! They're the ones who monopolize success! They win all those Nobel Prizes! Jon Stewart, Kevin Youkilis, Philip Roth, Scarlett Johannson, everywhere you look, you find successful Jews! “That's why I'm such a pathetic loser! The Jews have monopolized success! Those damn Jews are keeping me miserable and unloved!” As Mark Twain nicely put it, anti-Semitism is the “swollen envy of pygmy minds.”

4. Of course, Jew-haters also tend to be dumb, shallow, full of rage, and ignorant -- which perhaps, just perhaps, helps account for their lowly stations in life.